I tell my boy, "You're my darling, Garret, you know that?" He replies, " Dah-ling," then proceeds to sing-hum, "Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling clementine..."
Today we explored identifying emotions to help him navigate his own as mood changes have been appearing lately due to many different things. He is already after all 16 years old and starting to assert his own particular boundaries, saying" no" adamantly and asking for what he needs. Milestones I am extremely grateful for.
We traced and colored "happy" , "sad", "angry" , "scared". Then created our own interpretations of the same emotions. This morning Garret is clearly happy delving into our exercises, enunciating in his laughing, already baritone voice, "A-pee." And even as we proceeded with sad, angry and scared, he was still smiling as he tried to enunciate the words the best way he can, seemingly happy to simply dive into our predictable routine in the morning.
Needless to say, because our life with autism is far from conventional with communication a universe different from the neurotypicals, our awareness of each other's emotions with all its nuances and various articulations, is heightened and sharpened, compelling me to be present and mindful every single minute of everyday to his and his brother Morgan's needs. I do not want to be so self-righteous as to say that this is what parenting should be across the board. Every family is different. But I do know that this is what it should be in our own universe.
One of the most poignant realizations I gathered from the past few months, from the conscious decision I made to be finally a full-time mother is that my boys did not ask me to be born. I willfully asked for them. And so there is no other way but to be fully present for them. To finally fully embody what I have been admonishing parents of our preschoolers in the past.
So today is another chance to practice this wisdom of presence. I do not let his reply of singing "Oh My Darling" to my telling him that he is my darling Garret, pass me by. I fill his handsome face with kisses, embracing him like he is just 3 years old. And my 16-year old handsome teenager eagerly reciprocates smiling even more.
I think it is quite safe to say then that today, Monday of all days, today's mood is happy. Utterly happy.
How's your own Monday going so far?
