No Place Like Home

Home. Family. Friends. The love and warmth that reassures us that no matter what happens, we have somewhere and someone to come home to. When everything is topsy-turvy and chaotic, there is that certain peace and solace we can go to. It clears our head, soothes our aching hearts and renews our spirit. It's that constant reminder that sticks with us that wherever we may go, whatever mistakes we may have made, it is alright because we are a family and we have them to welcome us with open arms just like the story of the prodigal son. Family. It's the blood that runs through our veins. Its strength cannot be denied. Its power to heal, encompasses everything. They root us to the ground and allow us to spread our wings, explore the world and when we become tired of flying, they say to us, " It's ok to land...come and rest for a while." And even when we choose to thrive in another world, their nest is still ours, waiting for us to come home. Even in the midst of eccentricities and the worst of choices, it does not matter because home is where the heart is and family is everything.



I grew up learning all this from my parents. Papa spent weekends with us and not because he was out of town the rest of the week. Mom was a very active career woman and a devoted mother to my kuya and me. What I clearly remember is the days we spent together albeit short were full of affection and peace. And I always felt safe and secure. Papa and Mom made sure of that. And as I was growing up,they had this one piece of wisdom that molded my way of thinking: we make mistakes, we are accountable for them, we face the repercussions and in the end we are a family and we are here for you no matter what.



I only hope I can provide the same kind of safety and security to my two boys. This is what I am striving for every single day. As to how I can make them understand in their own language, I do not know how but I will certainly do everything so they will always feel safe and be men secure in their own right.



I do not know yet what the future holds for my two boys. Will Garret be able to make something of himself? make choices by himself in the adult world whether good or bad? Will Morgan be able to choose a career path for himself and eventually follow his true calling? Will they be able to spread their wings? Will I be able to endow them with enough strength and resources so they can be alright out there in the world? Will I be able to assure them that even when the storms of their lives may come, mama is right here waiting for them with open arms?



Everyday is a challenge. Keeping a marriage up and running, running a household, making a living, raising children. And as with all challenges, the perks are numerous and priceless: Garret being able to follow his teacher's fingers in, "Incy wincy spider", or him recognizing a star at the bottom of his sand bucket, declaring to the entire world, "KAR!" and singing "Twinkle, twinkle little star" in the most beautiful voice ever. Morgan making more and more eye contact, putting coins in the coin bank by himself, stacking 10 cubes so delicately they do not topple down. These are just some of the countless wonders. When the trials come, I am reminded once again that their mere presence is stronger than any form of pain and heartache.



So back to the question, " Will I be able to give my two boys the safety, security and love that my own parents have given me? " Right now it seems as if Garret and Morgan are the ones rooting me to the ground and letting me spread my wings, just like what my own parents did. How blessed am I? They are indeed special children. They remind me everyday in their own non verbal way how I am doing things right. They tell me everyday that no matter what happens, whatever challenges I have surpassed or have yet to overcome, I have them to come home to. They only know the basic things and perhaps all there is to know-- love, laughter, joy in its purest sense. Their love is stronger than anything. And it is enough for me to hang on, to go on. And the most important assurance they give me? It is that there is certainly no place like home.