The Elements

Last night. Garret all curled up in my arms, knees to his chest my right arm draped over his back, my left arm under his neck. Whenever I shift my right arm, he pulls it right back to his body, wanting to be wrapped in this cocoon of embrace. Perhaps he wants to be enveloped not unlike when he was still in my womb? Safe, warm, comfortable, protected from everything. Nine months inside my body, preparing him to be ready to face the world, all the elements out there, nurturing him with survival instincts, willing him to thrive in this crazy, unpredictable and sometimes cruel world of ours. As with all parents, I know I can't protect my boys from everything. I know that too well. Special Needs parents KNOW THIS TOO WELL. I promised myself not to write any depressing or somber posts any more. But this is different. I just couldn't shake this sinking feeling in my gut how people can truly be cruel without even a second thought. Insensitive, another parent surmised. No, I disagreed. Insensitive is an understatement. Cruel is more like it. The worst part? These people do not even know they are being cruel. A malicious, offhand statement, a disapproving look and comment at the grocery store, a muttering of "What an undisciplined child." , all sorts of cruelty come in all forms and sizes. Times like these I wish I could place my two boys back in my womb to protect them from these elements. Yes, I call these cruel people elements. That's the best I can do to get back at them, to whittle them down to elements. Because people who do not give a second thought to the things they say to hurt my boys or all the special kids out there do not deserve to be called humans. They have forgotten their humanity, to say the least. I have to admit, even if I had blown off steam last night through my status update, I feel it is not enough. Forgive me but I most definitely CANNOT turn the other cheek on this one. Forgive me if I may have to contradict my previous posts affirming that Kindness should be a way of life, even to the most cruel of us. This post may seem that I am succumbing to the level of these 'elements'. But this is not so. Because, with an overpowering fervor and conviction, when it comes to my boys and all the special kids out there, I , quite simply, WILL NOT TAKE THIS SITTING DOWN. And this is definitely not stooping to the level of these elements. This is standing up for my boys.

This is for Garret and for Morgan. This is for Ethan and E.G. This is for Zaijan. This is for Gabby. This is for Marc. This is for Ken. This is for Kannon. This is for all the kids at the center. This is for all the special kids out there. This is for all the Autism Moms and Dads out there. This is for all the Special Needs Parents out there. Let us not take this sitting down. I plead you. I empower you. Let us fight back this attitude of ignorance and cruelty. Because this will simply not do. This is our children we are talking about. Because if only it is possible, we autism moms would without a second thought put back our children back in our wombs where no one can hurt them. No elements can hurt them. But it's not. So this is what we can and will do. Fight back. Spread Autism Awareness. Educate people. Especially when they are most cruel. Especially when they have forgotten their humanity. Let us jolt them back to their humanity.

Right now as I am furiously punching the keys my Garret is smiling, calm, peaceful, content happy, waiting to go to school. Morgan is still fast asleep. They do not know the fire boiling inside me. How angry I am at these elements. But they know how much I love them. This should be the only thing they know. Love. Kindness. And God knows, with every bit of bone, muscle and vein in my body, I will protect them. And I will fight for them.