My Greatest Gifts

Our boys made  Christmas and Valentines' cards for us with the help of their teachers and caregivers during Sped Class. While I know that the initiative comes from the teachers themselves, I know in my heart that the message of the words, written with moderate to maximum assistance just to  hold the pen firmly enough to form the lines, curves and edges of each letter, are no less true.

Their words of, " I love you"  are true in the happy glances, Garret gives me when I choose to spend the morning with him writing his ABC's or bringing him to the grocery.

They are real in the gentle hands cupping my cheek, feather-light kisses,  tight hugs and unabashed laughter Morgan gives me out of the blue.

They are true in those moments when I have no time to take out my phone and capture the "moment".

The words, "I love you"  are most real in those times when I only have to bask in their joy, when all I have to do is be truly present with my boys.

It is when I am fully aware of their language in whatever way they speak to me that the words "I love you" becomes real, unabashed and true.

Perhaps one day Garret and Morgan themselves will choose to write me a Christmas card or make a Valentines card for their papa. Perhaps. But it is those nameless, undocumented moments filled with real love that matter most. And they are too numerous to count or even write about.

So my dear boys, Garret and Morgan, 

      I hope one day you get to read this. 

     Know that it is I who must thank you for filling my life with love. Because of you I have learned to define my life and love in the simplest most elemental of ways: in presence, in awareness and gratitude always. 

     I love you with all my heart, my little prince and feisty king. 

     Be it Christmas, birthday or Valentine's day, you are my greatest gifts.

Love always,

Mama Bea