What if?

I've always wondered,
What if you were given words, my dear boy?
Would the world be kinder?
What if you were given words , my love?
Would your smiles mean more?
What if you were given words, my son?
Would your touch feel deeper?
What if you were given words, my king,
Would your laughter sound richer?
What if you were given words, my child,
Would life be more beautiful?
What if you were given words, my Morgan,
Would my heart grow bigger and
therefore break even wider
than how it already is breaking?

I wonder yet I know.
My heart
Oh this Mama's heart
is a fickle thing.
One day I am sure.
Another,  I am full of questions.
I know yet I wonder still.
For now with deep breaths,
I steer myself to what is,
To where we are
Where the ground beneath
Our feet
Moves beyond words
Where the air we breathe
Is love unnamed
Where what we do have is
More than any questions
Or the answers we seek
Where Grace finds us
When we need it the most
As I do now.

"I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us." -Anne Lamott