Worthy

Watercolor paper, finger paint, brushes, big crayons and a couple of photos, chocolate cake from a local snack house, a hundred kisses and numerous thoughts fill this Father's Day.

When we decide to have children, what are our motivations? To extend our family's lineage? To ensure the longevity of our family's name? To live out our dreams, the ones we never had a chance to fulfill? To chart a different life from the ones we had? To make right what is not? To prove something to someone? Or to manifest the ultimate definition of love? To birth joy? To be happy? To seek truth? To forge meaning and purpose in our lives?

Garret is now 12 years old. Morgan is 9. I am turning 37 this year. If there is anything I have learned in over a decade of loving our boys and embracing their truth, it is that parenting hits you hard in the gut. You realize it is never about you, never was, never will be.  It is never about you living your unfulfilled dreams. It is never about you rebelling against the dictates of anybody. It is never about you proving anything to anyone. 

Parenting is always, always about them, our children. Parenting is a gift from the Universe to us that we may hold in the palms of our hands joy, not joy. Feel pain, desperation, struggle. Taste triumph. Experience healing. Feel love. Be love. Be blessed by grace, manifest grace. 

Parenting, whether we are fathers, mothers or caregivers, is a gift from the Universe to us so we may know what it truly is to behold the miracle of life.  

Happy Father's Day to the Papa of my boys. As you always say, "To be worthy of them." Yes, indeed to always be worthy of them.