Our lives with autism.
When will this be not an uphill battle?
What's the point?
Why does it feel like I'm left behind?
Why does it seem that my boys are left behind while the rest of the world moves on?
Is there no getting out of this?
What is the purpose of all this?
Why my boys?
What does the future hold for us?
But most importantly, for them, when we are gone?
Why other people and not us?
Why other kids and not my boys?
Where and when is our salvation?
This barrage of questions invading my peace. But somehow I am compelled to ask the most difficult questions because the answers compel courage to come forth. And it's almost easy to fall into the trap of self-pity and to an extent, despair. Almost. Until just moments ago, Garret approached me out of the blue, gazed at me with eyes holding the most indescribable, incomprehensible tenderness and Morgan, cheeks all rosy pink from jumping on the mattress grinning, all teeth and gums showing, grinning at his momma--- there's my answer, this right here, my truth. And it is just so much easier to fall back into a state of grace, gratitude and peace. :) And yes I am truly glad I was not afraid to ask the questions.
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