Big Questions, Big Blessings

            A few days ago, at a social gathering, several moms were talking about how their kids were starting to change and grow up, how  goodbye kisses and bear hugs in public were slowly disappearing, and how the yearning for independence was increasingly becoming apparent. Questions like, "When do I let my child cross the street by himself?" or "Should I let him learn how to commute in going to school?"  They marveled at how other parents seemed to have achieved the feat of training their 7-year old kids to ride a tricycle on their own going to and from school. Then, they argued that for some parents, they have no choice but to let their children be independent at such an early age.  For this group of moms, however, they felt they had a choice. What with the presence of drivers and yayas at hand. Independence-- is such a strong word. And for all mothers perhaps, a sometimes cruel albeit impending reality. How many times do we yearn for our tots to be once again newborns safely cradled in our arms? Then, one mother spoke up and declared the big question, " When do I let go of my child?" Everybody in the group was silent. There were no answers.

            All throughout this intercourse, I was a passive participant. Agreeing here and there and disagreeing with some issues somewhat casually. So when finally, the question came up, I was shaken out of my passivity. I felt the question was thrown directly at me. I thought, "Will I ever be able to let go of my child?" or more clearly, " Will Garret be fully independent?"  Other moms dread the day when their child will resist public shows of affection, when they realize that their teenage boy has gone on a first date without their knowledge, or when their teenage daughter has gone to the mall wearing God-knows-what without asking for mom's permission. Other moms dread this day. I, on the other hand, do not dread this day. I have been given the ultimate blessing-- Garret does not mind at all how many hugs and kisses I give him in a single minute. And there's quite a big chance he will never mind. He will always need my hand to hold. This is a fact.  Perhaps his tight grip on my hand is the big blessing heaven has endowed us. Of course, I do realize the need for him to do very basic things on his own. This is a reality we have yet to achieve.  The technicalities of independence is a challenge we face everyday-- Garret needs to dress, bathe, feed himself, carry his own bag, among others. And yet, this challenge has its perks. Blessings in disguise, the cliche goes. And there are still more disguises to unravel. God has yet to reveal more big, big blessings in answer to our big questions.

            Here's what we marvel every single day, one of our many blessings in disguise; when the day is done, he curls up in my lap or in his papa's arms, smiles his heavenly smile, and is contented with the warmth and safety of our embrace-- just like a newborn baby.  Garret turns 6  this March. :-)