Be Still, My Son Says

"Once I saw a little bird go hop, hop, hop, and I said little bird, will you stop, stop stop?", the nursery song sings on. It is lunchtime for Garret and he couldn't stop hopping in time with the beat. It does not just stop with the hopping, his right hand beats this way and that in the air "conductor-like". This goes on from track 1 of the CD until track 17. By the time we reached track 17, he scoops the last serving of his favorite bacon and rice.

I know what's going on in some of the readers' mind right now, "Isn't it lunch time? So why is he hopping? Aren't you supposed to teach him how to stay still and sit down until he finishes the entire course of his meal?" I've asked these questions too myself. I feel guilty, sure. But then, every time I see my son's utter joy and fascination plastered across his face, listening to his nursery songs, being in his joy bubble, I just cannot afford to burst it. Would you? Or maybe it's just me because I'm his mom. Moms, as you know are bound to give in. We are the saboteurs of our own discipline or for what is supposed to be for that matter. And I say this with a grin on my face. It's not that I don't take establishing rules and discipline seriously,it's because these are the times, I realize, that utter appreciation of the finer and perhaps best things in life overthrows the norms of letting him sit down during the entire meal. It is during these times that I just sit back and watch my son be in his happy place. It is during these times that I am strongly reminded how the joy plastered on my son's face reflects the joy I have bubbling inside me as well. And I am fiercely reminded that I am truly blessed and everything is going to be all right.

Music seems to be Garret's thing. He loves it. Correction, he absolutely loves hearing music. And not just nursery rhymes. His favorite is the Black Eyed Peas. Honest. He does. He dances to "Bebot" and Fergie's "Clumsy". Oh, he's recent favorite-- Walk off the Earth's rendition of "Someone that I Used to Know" and "Magic". Remember the intro part of the former resembles the tune of twinkle, twinkle little star. And he imitates the snare drums of the intro notes of "magic". And when he turns on our keyboard, he plunks the keys of twinkle twinkle little star. This is my son's joy. Music, rhythm, beat, melody. It gives him a certain, indescribable sense of peace and calmness. This is Garret's peace. When I see my little prince transform into this creature of pure energy, joy and calmness, I too am energized, happy and peaceful. When I say I too am energized, I sometimes join him in dancing or hopping or whatever movement he makes, much to his dismay and embarrassment. I say this because whenever I do dance, he covers his ears and whines and literally pushes me to sit back down. And we all laugh our hearts out. He does not want to see me dance. An honest kid, my Garret is. Loud and clear he is saying to me through his urgent gestures, " Mama, this is my moment. Just watch me. Besides, you're not really much of a dancer." So I relent smiling and sitting back down and watch my little prince do his thing. It is beautiful to watch. It is a wondrous thing to behold. It is peaceful, calming, energizing, food for my soul. During these times, Garret is teaching me just to sit down. And watch. And be silent. And be still. And just enjoy the moment. And hear the voice of the Universe telling me, " Be still and watch life unfold through your son."

Of course, I do understand how Garret should already learn to settle down and remain settled while eating. So maybe next time, I won't play his nursery rhymes CD. Or maybe I will. Because maybe, correction, most certainly, my son is not the one who needs to learn how to be still.